Exactly 10 days after valentines I found this article about how avatars (the user of Virtual Worlds) relate to each other differently than in the real world on the ‘This is HERD’ blog. It does a great job on defining one important aspect of online connections between humans, the relationships and the level in which people can engage with each other in the Virtual World. The article, which quotes and summarizes Ph.D. John Suler’s extensive study, distinguishes 3 major factors in how we behave differently in online social contacts,and how this results in connections/relationships:
1. Talking on the Internet, people regress - In other words, virtual relationships take on a child-like function of being both more controlling, selfish and aggressive, but also being more open at the same time.It “weds the highest intellectual functions and most primitive instincts of the human personality.” It’s somewhere where we can vent all those issues that have been bubbling under the surface. But also show incredible displays of generosity. In a sense it is actually more real than the real as it’s us as we really are stripped of our day to day mask.
2. Linked to that, text based relationships - (as an aside, some residents in the virtual world Second Life now use voice via headsets) produce ‘disinhibition.’ You don’t physically know the person, so you do things you wouldn’t necessarily do otherwise. You “reveal secret emotions, fears, wishes, show unusual acts of kindness and generosity, and as a result intimacy develops.” On the other hand, the disinhibition effect may not be so benign:
“Out spills rude language, harsh criticisms, anger, hatred, even threats. People act out in all ways imaginable. Intimacy develops too rapidly resulting in regret, anxiety, and a hasty termination of the relationship.”
3. ‘Transference’ occurs online - You project a variety of wishes, fantasies and fears on the person at the other end. You have a certain inner need, and you actually filter your online friends according to who can meet it.
“This unconscious “homing” device can be very sensitive. Even when communicating only via text and in cumbersome or distracting online environments, we nevertheless zoom in on relationships that touch some hidden need within us.”
The success and acceptation of Social Networks (which Virtual Worlds are a part of) largely depends on the level in which our mind will be able to perceive these connections as real relationships. At the moment there is still a difference between meeting someone at the local pub (or anywhere else in the real world), or having that same meeting in a Virtual World in the eyes of many, often judging such a Virtual Encounter is not real. I think the study Ph. D. Suler presents tells us there is a difference - but not necessarily in the level of ‘realness’, and much more in the way we interact with each other online.
Posted on: February 24, 2008 | Share on:
Abhishek Saxena on 
Sophie on 
Rheta Shan
said on March 24th
Hmm… considering those results, all I can say is :
1. That pretty much is true of any relationship, and I doubt the « more » in virtual worlds. How on earth are you meant to measure that ?
2. I very much about that, seeing that only one century ago, a letter (pure text) was considered the epitome of polite conversation. I think you’ll have to look elsewhere for the recent change in tone in text exchanges…
3. Aw hell, now that is most certainly true of RL relationships. No difference to virtual worlds I can make out whatsoever.
Extensive a study it might be, but after reading this summary, I’m left with the feeling the people responsible should simply go out more, both in meatverse and in the metaverse. And maybe dare to look beyond the horizon of their pet topic once in a while :)
Rick van der Wal
said on March 24th
“That pretty much is true of any relationship…”
“…now that is most certainly true of RL relationships”
I think that was exactly his point :)
Don’t forget this is not a revolutionary concept to those inside virtual worlds, but it is to those outside virtual worlds looking in, at what they think is a game along the lines of pacman.
Dale Innis
said on March 24th
Interesting stuff. These things are all true of RL relationships, but one can imagine some good sociopsychological studies that offer evidence that they’re *more* true of online and/or virtual relationships. From just skimming randomly around in the cited book, though, it doesn’t seem to contain any studies like that; it’s just someone sitting in an RL armchair drawing conclusions more or less out of his hat. :) Which can be alot of fun, of course, and if he’s a smart person the conclusions can be interesting, but it doesn’t tell us much about how the world actually IS…